Trailer Hitch for August 27, 2003

By Zach Kolkin

No, I'm not Helen Hunt!

8. Delgo

Fathom Studios is a new entity in the world of computer-animated films, and judging from this trailer to their first film, Delgo, it doesn't look like they'll be making too many more pictures after this one. The movie is a light-hearted fantasy adventure with a distinctly unoriginal storyline. In essence, the story centers on a young boy who becomes an unlikely hero and must save his land from a terrible threat. If this doesn't sound familiar, you have never read a single science fiction or fantasy story in your life. As with all computer-animated movies, the look of the movie is a major selling point. Here, the visuals are very disappointing, looking like cutscenes from a video game, rather than a motion picture. Although the film does boast some stars in its voice talent, the dull trailer, unimaginative story, and disappointingly bland animation should prevent Delgo from ever gaining much exposure.

7. Honey

You'd think that considering all the ridicule singers like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera get for their attempts to "go hip hop," no one would have thought it was a very good idea to make an inspirational movie out of that very subject. Nevertheless, we have Honey, starring Jessica Alba as Honey Daniels (whose full name is mentioned about 18 times too many in the two-minute promo), a dancer who has always dreamed of making it big. The trailer seems to be angling for the attention of the eagerly sought-after young teen girl audience, and with that crowd, this preview might have some success. On the other hand, the picture does have an awful lot of similarities to Glitter.

6. Kart Racer

A racecar film for the Agent Cody Banks crowd, Kart Racer tells the story of a boy trying to make it big in the International Karting Federation (to save you the time on Google, yes, this is in fact a real thing). I wasn't impressed with the trailer at all; the story is one that we have seen a thousand times before, albeit most frequently with slightly more popular sports. I also have a feeling that the movie is going to struggle to find any type of audience; while it looks a little too grown-up for fans of Spy Kids 3-D, it is far too childish to appeal to teenagers. Maybe if the story was a little more unique or the film had some bigger names in the cast, it would have some appeal, but with such a lackluster trailer, I don't see this one getting much attention.

5. Alone in the Dark

Here we have some very early promo footage of the latest video game adaptation, Alone in the Dark. The movie stars Tara Reid and Christian Slater as a pair of adventurers who battle all those evil supernatural beings that are so prevalent in our world. Reid, who wears glasses in an unsuccessful attempt to exude some sort of intelligence, seems to turn in just as bland a performance as ever, and in fact doesn't appear for a good portion of the clip. Slater gets the bulk of the spotlight, and in truth looks like he could stand to wear a pair of glasses too. From these brief clips, the film does look to capture the horrific and mysterious tone of the games quite well, although the movie is undoubtedly going to come off as something of a Resident Evil knock-off. Nevertheless, there is still a long ways to go before this movie comes out in the fall of 2004, and by that time Alone in the Dark might look much more like a slick, action-packed horror movie.

4. Pieces of April

Katie Holmes stars in this dramedy about a young woman living on her own who invites her mildly estranged family to her apartment for Thanksgiving dinner. Murphy's Law sets in almost immediately, until a dozen Krispy Kremes save the day (is there anything those donuts can't do?). Although it's a little surprising to see Holmes as a punk-rock chick, she looks good in the role, as do Oliver Platt and Patricia Clarkson in their roles as her parents. Now that Holmes' stint on television is over, she appears to be moving on to a career in film, and hopefully this picture will put her on the right track towards a respectable future.

3. Stuck on You

While not quite as hilarious as the film's first teaser, this new trailer for Stuck on You is still quite funny. The story revolves around two Siamese twins, played by Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear, so obviously the majority of the jokes center around this plight. At times, these gags are extremely funny; the line about how Kinnear is "not here" when Damon picks up the phone was particularly good. The Farrelly brothers continue to never take themselves too seriously, here mocking the fact that the cast includes several Oscar nominees and winners (although the phrase "Academy Award Winner Cher" is still a bit hard on the ears). The movie definitely looks quite funny, and looks to mark a return to the slapstick comedies with which the Farrellys originally made a name for themselves.

2. Mystic River

Clint Eastwood's latest directorial effort gets a far less obtuse preview here, where we finally get an introduction to some semblance of a story. As I mentioned several months ago in reviewing the film's first promo, the ad did a fantastic job of setting the right tone for the movie and intriguing audiences without giving too much away. This latest trailer again does a great job of keeping up the film's mysterious mood, but also reveals just enough of the storyline to get you hooked. The picture centers on the murder of a teenage girl, and the search for the killer that brings back together three childhood friends in a number of strange ways. In addition to the alluring story, the film boasts an impressive cast, all of whom are featured well in the trailer. Given the number of big names in the film, and the intriguing premise, I would imagine that this trailer will quite effectively grab the attention of many moviegoers.

1. Something's Gotta Give

This trailer for the new romantic comedy from director Nancy Meyers is unquestionably one of the funniest of the year. From Jack Nicholson's opening monologue (a speech that no other actor working today could pull off) to his final punchline, this one is flat-out hysterical. The premise is that Nicholson plays, well, himself, and ends up unexpectedly falling for the mother (played by Diane Keaton) of the youngster whom he is currently wooing. The promo puts exactly the right self-aware spin on the picture, an attitude that also seems to appear in the performances of the cast. This is a superb trailer that is guaranteed to have audiences in stitches, and I can't imagine this film being less of an all-around success than Meyers' previous effort, What Women Want.

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