BOP Daily News
March 24, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Dodgeball scene stealer Jason Bateman has lined up his next project. Mr. Silver Spoons will frontline The Heartbreak Kid during the Arrested Development summer break...assuming the yet-to-be-renewed Arrested Development's break is not a permanent vacation. The story Bateman chose over several other projects offered to him is a tale of the flighty nature of romance. Bateman's character quickly falls in love with a woman and marries her. Then, he repeats the process with another woman while on his honeymoon with his new bride. The inspiration for this project is presumably Jennifer Garner.
What, were you expecting us to say Jennifer Lopez?
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Attention Paul W.S. Anderson fans! Yes, both of you! The man who ruined the seemingly bulletproof concept of Alien vs. Predator is ready to jump back behind the lens again. And no, it’s not a Resident Evil sequel. That one already got ruined without him. Instead, he’s going to re-make the classic Sylvester Stallone/David Carradine movie Death Race 2000. The theme of that flick is that Hit’n’Run driving has been legalized in the future. In fact, it’s the most popular sport in the world. Famed drivers travel cross country trying to mow down any unfortunate pedestrian who happens in their way. While no casting plans have been announced as of yet, Paula Abdul seems like a natural choice for the female lead.
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Speaking of female leads with legal troubles, Whitney Houston has once again failed to slay the dragon. The aging diva has been forced to check into drug rehab. Again. The star of The Bodyguard made an unfortunate promise to always love cocaine a few years ago, and the white powder has held it against her. Houston had a carry-on bag containing the illegal substance discovered at a Hawaiian airport in 2000, and has since worked hard to defeat the notion that she is an addict. But during a tearful confession with Diane Sawyer in 2002, Bobby Brown's better half acknowledged a problem. Exactly a year ago, Houston entered rehab for the first time but the results obviously did not stick. Her return to the treatment facility temporarily delays her recording sessions with Clive Davis. The famed producer was helping Houston make a comeback album. Since the couple has already paid for the studio time and got Davis scheduled for the sessions, BOP expects a New Edition reunion CD just in time for the holiday season.
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A surprising development has occurred at Blinding Edge Pictures. The production company's most famous director, M. Night Shyamalan, has chosen a studio to distribute his next project. And it's not Disney. It seems that Lady in the Water, the Sixth Sense auteur's next movie, will carry the Warner Bros. insignia when it is released into theaters. While a Disney spokeman made sure to point out that there are no bridges burned by the decision, Shyamalan's pointed comments indicated that Warner Bros. did a much better job of sucking up. It's also possible that there is lingering resentment over the way The Village was marketed. Under any circumstance, Philadelphia's most famous son has moved on for now. The new film will tell the story of a building superintendent who comes to discover that a nymph lives in the complex's community pool. It's just like Splash only the Daryl Hannah character turns out to be a dead superhero who needlessly dresses in anachronistic clothing while attempting to discover the mystery of crop circles.
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"Pepper needs new shorts, Cotton!"
Previous edition's quote: Stage Beauty
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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