By Kris Terrell

March 17, 2003

Having seen the new Bruce Campbell flick, Bubba Ho-Tep, I can tell you that it is, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest movie of all time about an old and very much alive, yet cancer-stricken, Elvis Presley and a black man who may or may not be the very much alive John F. Kennedy who team up to do battle with a soul-consuming mummy who's been preying on the aging residents of a creepy retirement home. Yup, you read me right. Old cancer-stricken Elvis...old black JFK...one mean mummy. Does the film itself live up to such an original premise? Yes...and no.

Before the film started, the director, Don Coscarelli (of Beastmaster and Phantasm fame), and Bruce Campbell introduced the film as being the “true” story of what happened to The King, Elvis Presley. I should qualify my review up front by saying that Bruce Campbell is a cinematic hero of mine. Yes, I know, it's politically correct these days to say cops and firefighters are the real heroes, but no cop or firefighter I've ever heard of has killed a whole army of deadites and lived to tell hot chicks in discount stores about it. Bruce has, therefore he's my hero. Anyway, they introduce the thing, the lights go out, the crowd goes nuts, and the movie begins.

Bruce Campbell plays a remorseful and reflective Elvis in his 60s living in a cruddy retirement home in West Texas. No one believes he is the Elvis Presley, of course, because we all assumed Elvis overdosed on a toilet. Bubba Ho-Tep tells the true story of what happened. In turns out that the Elvis who died on the toilet was a stand-in. See, the real Elvis grew tired of his life and wanted to settle down, so he arranged for the greatest Elvis impersonator in the world to become him while he took a permanent vacation. Well, one thing led to another, and while pretending to be the Elvis impersonator, Elvis falls off the stage and breaks his hip. For some reason, the film leaves out how exactly that gets him to the retirement home. Also staying at the retirement home is Jack, a black man who claims to be John F. Kennedy. He explains that on that tragic day in Dallas, he actually survived the shots to the head and the sections of his brain that were splattered on the concrete were filled in with bags of sand.

Still with me? That alone, it would seem, would be enough for a 90 minute feature, but we haven't even gotten to the real meat of the story yet. An ancient Egyptian sarcophagus, we find out, has been stolen from a museum and while driving away, the robbers drive off a bridge and their bus sinks. Somehow the mummy inside the sarcophagus escapes and starts eating the souls of the residents of the Muddy Creek Retirement Home. The souls, we learn, are what keeps the mummy alive. For a low budget movie, the mummy itself looks great. It's not cartoonish CGI like the Brendan Fraser mummy flicks, but an actual guy in a suit (and isn't that the way it should always be?). Picture the tar zombie from Return of the Living Dead only minus the tar. Jack Kennedy learns of the mummy and gets Elvis to help him destroy it. That's the movie.

What really works in Bubb Ho-Tep are the performances from Campbell and Ossie Davis. Sure, Campbell will forever be known as Ash from the Evil Dead flicks, but his Elvis is easily his best performance to date. We learned after the screening from the director that Campbell won the Best Actor Award at this year's Aspen Comedy Festival for his performance and it's easy to see why. Rather than do the standard Elvis thing, he just plays an old guy who's been through a lot and has a few regrets. Yes, we still know it's Elvis due to the glasses, the hair, and the way he speaks, but Campbell isn't going for the stereotypical Elvis here. Davis is hilarious as Jack Kennedy and provides some of the film's more memorable (and filthy) lines. When asked after the screening how Davis became involved in the movie, Coscarelli said Davis thought of it as kind of a Grumpy Old Men versus a mummy.

What doesn't work in Bubba Ho-Tep, and in the end what will keep it from getting any kind of national distribution, is the pacing of the flick. A movie as quirky as Bubba Ho-Tep needs to move rather quickly, but Coscarelli feels the need to include a voice-over from Elvis every 15 minutes. The first ten minutes of the movie is almost entirely all voice over and it's like listening to paint dry. The voice-overs also kill the film's momentum when it should be speeding up. Just because a movie is a based on a short story, it doesn't mean you have to include every little thing the character thinks about. Also, the ending is a huge letdown. The inevitable battle between Elvis, Jack, and the mummy is very anti-climactic. The mummy is killed in a very boring way. You really can't blame the producers too much, though. Their budget was limited and if they had more money I'm sure they would have had a more whizbang ending. Pacing and cheesy ending aside, the back and forth between Davis and Campbell makes this a really great low-budget popcorn flick that really needs to be seen on the big screen in a packed house to be enjoyed. At the end of the credits, it adds that Elvis will return in Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires.

After the screening, we were treated to a Q and A session with Coscarelli and Campbell. All the major players except Davis were in attendence and they were all introduced to big cheers. Some guy who thought he was actually being funny, referring back to a scene where Elvis wears a big, gawdy gold belt, asked Campbell if he needed to have beaten Stone Cold Steve Austin to wear it. Campbell came back with something like, “That's a stupid question and you only get one so sit down!” The crowd went nuts. We also got the usual Evil Dead 4 questions like, “If you're gonna make quirky horror movies, why not just make Evil Dead 4?”, to which the crowd let out a mild groan, and, “If Sam's not available, why don't you direct Evil Dead 4?” Campbell acted out how he would constantly be checking out Evil Dead 2 to see how Sam would have done it. Someone then asked what part Campbell will have in The Amazing Spider-Man to which he answered, ”Well, I dunno, why don't you ask Sam Raimi. He's sitting right over there!” Raimi stood up to a hue applause and said he loved the film but after seeing Campbell's performance he may reconsider his offer. Campbell then polled the audience to see whether we wanted Bubba Nosferatu next or Bubba Sasquatch (since, he added, you could basically put “Bubba” in front of any generic monster name). The crowd was almost unanimously pro Nosferatu. From the Q and A, I can see why so many people are fans of Campbell. He's a real cool guy and seems to really love making movies no matter how big or small they are.

I doubt this film will get any nationwide distribution. Coscarelli said they've received some offers (I'm assuming he meant for video and DVD) but he was holding out for a theatrical release. A film like Bubba Ho-Tep deserves it, too. Sure, it's not a great film, but it's funny, original, and it's better than that killer tooth fairy flick that came out a few weeks ago. If it comes to your town in the form of a festival screening or whatever, check it out.