By Kim Hollis

As the focus of the movie world shifts from wide release of Academy Awards contenders and studio dumpage to the Spring calm before the Summer storm, a variety of films will vie for audience attention throughout the month of March.  Last year, March had an abundance of choices and consumers responded positively with their wallets by giving movies such as Ice Age, Blade II, Panic Room and We Were Soldiers their vote of confidence.  This year's slate offers a similar blend of genres, from family film to horror flick, military thriller to broad comedy.  Since 2003 is already lagging pretty well behind last year in terms of true quality product, March provides a chance to catch up.

March 7th

Bringing Down the House

The plot:
A lonely-heart attorney chats up a smart, classy female lawyer on the Internet, but when he meets her in person she turns out to be not an Ivy League dream girl but an escaped convict.  While he works to clear her name, she helps him get back in his ex-wife's good graces.  Stars Steve Martin, Queen Latifah and Eugene Levy.

Why you might want to see it:
Eugene Levy is always hilarious.

Why you might want to avoid it:
Reportedly does more to set back civil rights than the Klu Klux Klan.

Tears of the Sun

The plot:
A guy who looks and acts suspiciously like John McClane is the leader of a troop of Navy Seals who have been sent to Nigeria to rescue a doctor.  She refuses to leave unless they bring 75 refugees along.  With the unexpected dynamic shift, the soldiers wind up in a race to get to their checkpoint before the Nigerian army catches up.  Stars Bruce Willis and Monica Bellucci.

Why you might want to see it:
Monica Bellucci is really, really hot.  Or if you prefer men, Bruce Willis is really, really buff.

Why you might want to avoid it:
It might hit a little bit close to home as our country teeters on the verge of real war. 

March 14th

Agent Cody Banks

The plot:
A teenager named Cody Banks is recruited by the CIA to be trained for missions that can only be accomplished by someone in his age group.  It turns out that Cody's mission involves the rescue of a teenage girl, but the catch is that Cody already knows her from school, and he happens to have a huge crush on her.  Stars Frankie Muniz, Hilary Duff, and Angie Harmon.

Why you might want to see it:
It's Malcolm in the Middle meets Spy Kids meets Lizzie McGuire!  Or if you're the father of a kid who wants to see the film, it does have Angie Harmon for eye candy.

Why you might want to avoid it:
It's Malcolm in the Middle meets Spy Kids meets Lizzie McGuire!

The Hunted

The plot:
An assassin who makes sport of killing deer hunters escapes in the city, forcing the FBI agent who captured him once before to track him down before he kills again. Stars Tommy Lee Jones, Benicio Del Toro and Connie Nielsen.

Why you might want to see it:
If you liked The Fugitive, you’ll love The Hunted! The film stars two Academy Award winners in Jones and Del Toro.

Why you might want to avoid it:
The last time two Academy Award winning actors were pitted against each other, we got Instinct.

Willard

The plot:
A creepy young man learns that he can communicate with rats, and uses them to exact revenge on those who have done him wrong. Stars Crispin Glover, Laura Harring and R. Lee Ermey.

Why you might want to see it:
Seeing Gunnery Sergeant Hartman being eaten by rats is surely worth the price of admission.

Why you might want to avoid it:
Laura Harring doesn’t have a lesbian scene in *this* movie.

March 21st

Boat Trip

The plot:
Two friends book a cruise in hopes of hooking up with some beautiful women, but once they set sail, they find that they’ve accidentally booked themselves onto a gay cruise. Hilarity supposedly ensues. Stars Cuba Gooding, Jr., Horatio Sanz, Will Ferrell, Vivica A. Fox

Why you might want to see it:
The premise is strongly reminiscent of the Saturday Night Live Schmitt’s Beer commercial parody featuring Adam Sandler and Chris Farley.

Why you might want to avoid it:
Stars a member of the current Saturday Night Live cast.

Dreamcatcher

The plot:
Based on a novel by Stephen King, this is the story of four men who have been friends since they were boys. They meet for a hunting trip in the deep forest of northern Maine and strange things start to happen. When a strange man enters their cabin, they are suddenly thrust into a fight with an alien being that is able to control humans by entering their bodies. The four have a telepathic bond and must fight together to defeat the otherworldly creature even as a covert operation of the U.S. military takes action in its own interests. Stars Damien Lewis, Thomas Jane, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Timothy Olyphant, Jason Lee and Donnie Wahlberg.

Why you might want to see it:
A nine minute CGI “Animatrix” short titled Flight of the Osiris is attached to play before the film. If that isn’t enough, when this Stephen King novel is at its highest point, it provides some seriously compelling psychological horror that should translate well to film.

Why you might want to avoid it:
When the book is at its very worst, it relies on bodily functions and a creature known as the shitweasel to build horror.

Piglet’s Big Movie

The plot:
Following in the footsteps of The Tigger Movie, this film puts another of the assorted characters from the Hundred Acre Wood in the spotlight. Piglet, who is a timid and nervous little guy, has to look deep inside himself to find self-confidence and bravery when his friends are endangered. Stars Piglet, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Eeyore, Owl, and Christopher Robin.

Why you might want to see it:
Mmmmmm. Bacon.

Why you might want to avoid it:
You’re over the age of seven.

View from the Top

The plot:
A young woman from a simple background who has dreams of becoming an international flight attendant so that she can see the world, and will do anything to ensure that those plans come through. As always, the road to success is never easy, and she encounters a lot of obstacles along the way. Stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Christina Applegate, Mike Myers, Candice Bergen, Marc Blucas, Rob Lowe, Mark Ruffalo, and Kelly Preston.

Why you might want to see it:
Bringing Down the House and Boat Trip didn’t sate your appetite for dumb comedies.

Why you might want to avoid it
Has an alarming Sweetest Thing vibe.

March 28th

Basic

The plot:
A rogue DEA agent is brought in to investigate the disappearance of a group of Army commandos and their legendary drill instructor. As the inquiry progresses, the DEA agent comes into direct conflict with the Army’s investigating officer and naturally, nothing is as it seems. Stars John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Connie Nielsen, Giovanni Ribisi, Taye Diggs, and Tim Daly.

Why you might want to see it:
Travolta and Jackson are reunited onscreen for the first time since their infamous pairing in Pulp Fiction.

Why you might not want to see it:
You just saw Connie Nielsen in the same role two weeks before this came out.

The Core

The plot:
Bizarre things start happening around the world, like 17 people suddenly dropping dead in a ten-block radius in Boston. Something happens to the core of the planet, causing it to stop rotating and deteriorating the planet’s electromagnetic field. As this occurs, life on Earth changes drastically, with animals behaving abnormally and the stars in the sky shining abnormally brightly. And things will only get worse. A group of scientists works together to immediately build a subterranean craft that they will take to the center of the earth so that they can detonate a nuclear device that should restore things to their natural state. Stars Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci, Bruce Greenwood, Delroy Lindo, and DJ Qualls.

Why you might want to see it:
There’s always a chance that Qualls will die violently.

Why you might want to avoid it:
You read the plot synopsis, right?

Head of State

The plot:
When a presidential candidate and his running mate die unexpectedly in a plane crash, a Washington D.C. alderman is tapped to take his place. A complete unknown in the nationwide realm of politics, he taps his unsophisticated brother to be his running mate and campaigns on his own platform despite the party’s best efforts to get him to conform to their wants (and possibly malevolent plans). Stars Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Tamala Jones, Robin Givens, Dylan Baker, and Tracy Morgan.

Why you might want to see it:
You can daydream that Chris Rock is *actually* the president.

Why you might not want to see it:
You prefer Martin Sheen.

View other columns by Kim Hollis